July 17th, 2003
So something that has really been on my mind since last night's talk is this. I don't ever want to be someone who hides from their sin. I realize this is something that I was constantly guilty of young in my walk, and I have found that I still do it at times. Worst of all, I often do it without realizing it. In talking with Spence and Stan last night, they mentioned some conscerns which were things I have not been honest with myself about as of late. I guess, it is hard for me to admit that there are certain things that I am just not strong enough to be around. Basically, I am telling myself that there is no need to walk a thin line if I don't have very good balance most of the time. Anyway, I will say it now as I often have to... I am so thankful I worship a God who has patience with me and is so willing to forgive me. Even when I do the things that scare me too much to admit to myself. I guess, my prayer is now, as it will always be, to be sold out entirely and surrendered to God. I fail terribly at this much of the time, but I have the hope that he who has started the good work will be faithfull, well because he really can't be anything else. I want to sing David Crowder and have it be the 100% truth of my life. My heart for you, my love for you, my life for you, and all I have for you.
Anyways, I just want to be ok with it all I guess. I am just not right now.
-Rob